This is Too Urgent

I am a person.  And as a person I like to go out in public from time to time.  And yeah, I take my cell phone with me, send text messages, make calls, you know- the usual. 

Also, being a person, like I am, I have to use the restroom every now and then.  Now, I don't know if you're familiar with a public restroom, but it generally operates on a stall system.  The walls separating bathroom goes are not full sized, nor are they very thick, so it is pretty unavoidable to hear what the person beside you is doing. 

More and more I have experienced the person in the stall beside me using their cell phone.  First of all: yum.  Second of all: Why.

What text message is so important that it cant wait the two minutes it is going to take you to go to the bathroom?  I feel as though I don't want to associate expelling toxins from my body with having dinner with a date later that evening, but maybe that is just me?

If texting wasn't bad enough, there are the phone calls.  "Oh hey mom! Busy? Oh I'm not busy.  Oh yeah I got the package you sent so cool!"  or, "Oh hey Susie!  I am going to the hub for dinner and studying later wanna join?"  Yeah Grey's is on tonight I am sooo excited." 

Really? You're in a public bathroom, doing your business and you want to talk to your friend about TV?  I hope she can hear you pooping.

You have something really urgent that you have to say to someone AND you have to go to the bathroom?  Here is what you do.
1. Go to the bathroom.
2.  WASH YOUR HANDS.
3.  Deliver your urgent business.

I promise that by doing it in is order you will not lose time.  You take up more time being in the bathroom if you are trying to do your buisness and keep a handle on your phone and try to make the other person not realize that you're in the bathroom.  I PROMISE.

I made a castle out of Play-Doh today, so I guess I can't be too upset.

I should probably watch more quality TV

Alright.  We all know and love Sixteen and Pregnant, but have you ventured over to the world of Teen Mom?  Well if you haven't, do it.

Teen Mom takes the girls that were on the show Sixteen and Pregnant and follows them as new mothers.  I was watching an episode where they were following one "teen mother" who gave up her baby.

First of all, In my mind, you're not a mom if you don't have a baby... but I guess that is neithe here nor there.  But more importantly, this episode was following her relationship with her boyfriend.  I'm sorry, did I say boyfriend?  What I should have said was step-brother. 

Okay, so they're not blood related, but they call the same two people "mom and dad."  Further, they live in the same house, BECAUSE THEIR PARENTS ARE MARRIED.

So as if I am not weirded out enough by the episode, I see the boy sitting down with the mom, asking permission to propose. TO PROPOSE TO HIS SISTER.  Of course the mom says "Yes! Of Course! I love you!"

And at the end of the episode he proposes, and she says "yes."

In love withsomeone that you're related to?
Here is what you do:
1. Stop being gross.
2.  STOP BEING GROSS.
3.  Become A-sexual, there is a chance that your kids will want to marry you or their siblings and really, who wants kids like that?


I have been waiting for a while to find my "special someone"  Unfortunately for me, my brother is gay.  What is a girl to do?

Don't Waste Your Money on a New Set of Speakers

I needed some new kicks.  For those of you not hip to the lingo, that means I needed a new pair of sneakers.  (For the record, I am also not hip to that lingo, I just really wanted to say it.)

For a while now I have been seeing commercials for these Reeboks that shape your legs and butt just from normal use!  Like any gullable consumer I convinced myself that if got these shoes in weeks I would be looking like a super-model.

So  today I walked downtown to buy a new pair of shoes, and I had this particular pair locked in my mind.  Well there is really only one sports store within walking distance of my apartment, so that is where I went. Well, as luck would have it, this store doesn't even sell Reeboks. OF COURSE.

So I began casually browsing the shoes that they do carry, (I hate walking into a store and then walking right out, it makes me feel inferior for some reason?)

As I was browsing, of course the guy asks me if I need help.  So I say, "sure".  And OF COURSE he is the nicest old guy EVER.  And of course he fits my foot, and goes through about eight different pairs of shoes, spending about forty minutes with me helping me find the right fit.  In the back of my mind I cannot help but think of these miracle butt sculpting shoes.  AND as luck would have it I wasn't really "sold" on any of the shoes he had showed me either.

Another concern that I had was that I really wanted a dark shoe.  Yeah.  I know, it is really crucial what color your workout shoe is. OH WAIT.

 But OF COURSE he has spent all this time with me, and then finally shows me this great dark grey and green Under Armour shoe.  As luck would have it this time, I really do like this shoe that he has showed me.

Yeah.  They didn't have it in my size.  But he showed me a similiar shoe that is lighter in color, (no butt-miracle). The shoe was alright.

 But like I said, he spent all this time on me.  I know that he works on commission, and I'd feel like a royal dick just walking out of the store without buying a pair of shoes.

Note to self, when buying things:
Don't go to the store with something particular in mind with no "real" reason.
Do not be fooled by the kindness of sales-people.  IT IS THEIR JOB.
Don't buy something just because you feel bad.


So yeah.  Now I have a pair of shoes that I kind of like, and that won't transform my butt into that of a God's.  On the bright side:  The Reeboks probably wouldn't have actually done that either.

Lenten Success

I know that I cannot possibly be the only person who is Catholic.  And I am also sure that I cannot possibly be the only one who is an epic fail at keeping my Lenten vows.

I have come to the conculsion that I need to set an alarm on my phone, for every three hours, if I even want hope of remembering Lent. 

My favorite instance of failure took place yesterday.  I awoke pretty early, around 10:30ish, and trotted off to the HUB (big place with food, study areas, annoying people handing out flyers, etc)- and after about an hour of being there I decided that I was very hungry and that nothing could satisfy me quite like Panda (QUALITY Chinese Fast Food).  So I met up with a friend, and got Orange Chicken and a rice bowl.  After eating that, my friend decided that he REALLY wanted a Wendy's Frosty.  Being the caring soul that I am- I could not deny him his greatest desire.  So we hopped in the car and we drove to Wendy's.  On my way there I realized that I gave up chocolate for Lent, so decided that I had to be a good Catholic and get a Vanilla Frosty.  When we pulled up to the drive through window I decided that I also wanted a Junior Bacon Cheeseburger (yeah I'm the epitome of healthy).  So I got my burger and my Vanilla frosty and began enjoying my food.  I ate the burger, and started on the Frosty.  I had never had a Vanilla Frosty before, so I was pretty apprehensive.  To my surprise- I liked it.  I liked it a lot.  As I was congratulating myself for following Lent and not getting the chocolate it dawned on me:  It was Friday. 

I may have eaten Chicken, Beef, AND Bacon, but have no fear ladies and gentleman, I got the VANILLA Frosty.

Additionally- I just ordered a dozen Insomnia Cookies, and yes, about half of them were chocolate.

Catholic and experiencing similair Lenten failure issues?
Here is what you do:
Change your faith. 

Preferably not to Judiasm.  I have no religious qualms with Judiasm- but I feel that the Jews have a lot more eating rules than the Catholics and their rules are year long, not just for the forty days leading up to Easter.
Become a Protestant, or an Atheist, I hear that they have little to no regulations on what it is they eat. 


I. Love. Nannerpuss.

I'll scratch your back, but please don't touch mine

Alright.  So let's talk about toilets.  Public toilets in particular. 
First of all, they are gross.  Second of all, they are gross.

But today something new and unexpected happened to me.

It began as a normal trip to the public restroom:
Went in the stall.
Gathered some toilet paper.
Created a make-shift seat protector.
Squated over the toilet anyway.
Finished.
Flushed.

Normal, right?
WRONG.

The toilet literally spit water at me.  Projectile toilet water.  That really would be my luck wouldn't it?

After I spent all that time protecting myself from the grossness that is the toilet, THAT happens?!

Well of course, I needed to know if it was a fluke or if it happened every time... In case you were wonderng- it does happen EVERY time.  Or at least the four times that I tried it.



Curiosity may have killed the cat, but it showered me.

Oh, Penn State

The Pennsylvania State University is one of the finest instituions in higher education in areas where it really counts.  What other school was ranked the number one party school this year?  Oh that's right. None.

Things such as apartment parties, Thirsty Thursdays, and public transportation are some of the most important outside factors to foster this title that we, as Penn Staters, hold so dearly.  But there is one thing that sets us above the rest.  And that is heart. 

Penn State is go big or go home in every sense of the word (word? Phrase, woman.  P-h-r-a-s-e).  We are constantly ranked top student section for football, and number one alumni association in America.  One of Penn State's biggest foundations of pride is our sense of unity, our sense of one-ness.  Just as there are no names on the back of our sports jerseys, there are no labels on our red Solo cups either.

Penn State literlly has hundreds of clubs and organizations for students to join.  These clubs are not just a place for students to share in one common interest.  They are a place for students to share in multiple common interests.  The recurring theme in about 98% of the clubs?  We loooove to drink.  (Did I say we? Surely I meant they, I am only 20 years of age, and I certainly don't break any laws, especially those involving underage drinking. Ever).

Think your college can live up to the challenge? WRONG.

Do you have a special holiday soley dedicated to drinking? I didn't think so.

A new, yet beloved, Penn State Tradition is that of State Patty's Day.  Once upon a time, oh say about four years ago- Saint Patrick's Day fell during spring break. (OH NOS!)  Not to fear!  Penn State Heart is here!  The students of the time conjured the oh so brilliant idea to designate a day (much like Saint Patrick's Day) to drinking! (Yaaayyy!)  Well as legend has it, or fact rather- Saint Patricks Day has not fallen during Spring Break since, but State Patty's Day was here to stay.

Don't go to Penn State and want to be as awesome as us?  Here is what you do:
Transfer to Penn State.

Asher Roth, your song isn't that good.