Oh, Penn State

The Pennsylvania State University is one of the finest instituions in higher education in areas where it really counts.  What other school was ranked the number one party school this year?  Oh that's right. None.

Things such as apartment parties, Thirsty Thursdays, and public transportation are some of the most important outside factors to foster this title that we, as Penn Staters, hold so dearly.  But there is one thing that sets us above the rest.  And that is heart. 

Penn State is go big or go home in every sense of the word (word? Phrase, woman.  P-h-r-a-s-e).  We are constantly ranked top student section for football, and number one alumni association in America.  One of Penn State's biggest foundations of pride is our sense of unity, our sense of one-ness.  Just as there are no names on the back of our sports jerseys, there are no labels on our red Solo cups either.

Penn State literlly has hundreds of clubs and organizations for students to join.  These clubs are not just a place for students to share in one common interest.  They are a place for students to share in multiple common interests.  The recurring theme in about 98% of the clubs?  We loooove to drink.  (Did I say we? Surely I meant they, I am only 20 years of age, and I certainly don't break any laws, especially those involving underage drinking. Ever).

Think your college can live up to the challenge? WRONG.

Do you have a special holiday soley dedicated to drinking? I didn't think so.

A new, yet beloved, Penn State Tradition is that of State Patty's Day.  Once upon a time, oh say about four years ago- Saint Patrick's Day fell during spring break. (OH NOS!)  Not to fear!  Penn State Heart is here!  The students of the time conjured the oh so brilliant idea to designate a day (much like Saint Patrick's Day) to drinking! (Yaaayyy!)  Well as legend has it, or fact rather- Saint Patricks Day has not fallen during Spring Break since, but State Patty's Day was here to stay.

Don't go to Penn State and want to be as awesome as us?  Here is what you do:
Transfer to Penn State.

Asher Roth, your song isn't that good.